Why Kayla Ruins Everything

This one goes back a few years. I supposed to train the new kid on how to make sandwiches on main board. We'll call him Retard Paul. So as I'm training him, he asks me if he has met me before. He hasn't so I tell him so, but then he goes on to say that he's positive that he has seen me somewhere before, and wants to know if I have ever been on TV, maybe in a commercial or something. Well, this is a golden opportunity to have some fun. I ask him if he had been to or watched any Pawtucket Red Sox games last year, luckily he had. I told him I was probably at the game he went to. At first he was skeptical, how could he have recognized me from the thousands of other people that were at that game, so I told him. I told him that was because I was playing in the game, not watching it. That for a week last summer, I was recalled from single A Lowell to play for AAA Pawtucket while one of their players was injured. He was shocked, but then asked why I was working at BK if I was a professional baseball player. I told him that a single A contract was only worth about $200 a week, so I needed a regular job and that I had worked here before I went pro, so they took me back whenever I was home. He was thrilled and started asking me all kinds of questions. He wanted to know my stats, if I had a shot at going pro, and all sorts of things. I told him that I didn't have a lot of power, and only hit 4-5 home runs a year, but I was a .450 hitter (which never happens), so I was hoping that after this season I would go up to AAA for a year or 2 and hopefully make the team or be traded to a team that could use me. I told him that I had met all the players on the pro team, and that I had actually spoken to a few of them, and that I saw Manny Ramirez, Johnny Damon, and Trot Nixon a few times a year at the annual outfielders meetings, and that Manny is exactly like he appears to be and is a really funny and cool guy, but Johnny Damon is a huge asshole who thinks he is better then everyone else. Retard Paul was shocked, he said that he couldn't believe that Damon could be a prick, he always looked so nice on TV. Well I said, he is. He just acts nice on TV to get people to like him, but in the clubhouse, he's a douche. This ended up going on for about 2 weeks, where whenever he saw me he would ask me questions about the Red Sox and when I was gonna play again. I was currently injured, which is why I was working at BK and not playing for the Paw Sox. But one day I came in and he said that he couldn't believe I had lied to him. I didn't actually play for the Sox and I had never done anything that I had said I had. He said that Kayla had told him that I was lying. Can you believe that bullshit? YOU RUINED A PERFECTLY GOOD JOKE KAYLA! I COULD HAVE DRAGGED THAT ONE OUT FOR THE WHOLE SUMMER! But you can see why I gave him the name Retard Paul. Just writing this story made me angry.