Kayla's Dirty Little Secret

Three summers ago, there was a small party at Emily's house. Jim and Kayla were there, along with some of Emily's friends. At some point during the party, Jim attacked Kayla and started wrestling with her on the floor of Emily's living room, and at one point, nearly cracked her head open on the slate near the fireplace. Kayla was pretty upset at this and decided that at some point she would get back at Jim during the course of the party. Once the party was winding down, Jim was hammered. It got to the point where he wanted to fight people, and we all know Jim would lose a fight to a 3 year old, so he was pretty much gone. Kayla had pretended that she was fine about the wrestling and that she actually had had fun doing it, so when Jim went upstairs to go to bed in the spare bedroom, Kayla joined him, saying that the large bed was big enough for the 2 of them. What none of us realized was that this was all part of Kayla's plan to get back at Jim for earlier. Once Jim had passed out, which took about 30 seconds from the time he laid down, Kayla began to set her plan into action. She waited for everyone else to fall asleep because she didn't want anyone else to hear what was happening. The next day we woke up to a frightening and terribly disturbing ordeal. Jim had woken up with his fly open. It didn't take long for everyone to figure out what had happened. While we were all sleeping, Kayla had unzipped Jim's pants, and raped him.

Sigma 14 Coding System

This is a recent one. It took place last Tuesday, May 29. Apparently, the night before, Kayla had posted an away message on AIM that stated that she had a crush on someone named "Matt". Now since no one knew of a "Matt" that she was talking to at the time, we all assumed it was a code name for the person that she actually liked, since it was most likely someone that we all knew, or even worked with, and she did not want to be embarrassed. Well, it turns out that it actually WAS someone from work that we all knew, and he and Kayla actually had a previous relationship, although it was many years ago. I was able to discover the identity of this person using the Sigma 14 Coding System, which for those of you who don't know is +11-0+2-11. All you need to do it take each letter and add the appropriate number to it . So here we go.

M+11=X
A-0=A
T+2=V
T-11=I

Therefore Matt = Xavi

It was none other then Xavi Colon. Good for them.

Matty B and the Boxes

Three years ago on a Sunday morning shift, I'm working with Jim and Jen Daboul. Its slow and we're bored, so we collect every empty box in the store and stack them up in the dumpster pad so that they can be broken down once one of the 11 o'clock people shows up. There were a good number of boxes, but nothing outrageous, but we decide that we can have a lot of fun with it. So we go through the entire store and find any open box, remove its contents, and place it in the dumpster pad. By the time we are done, the pad is full, there had to be at least 35-40 boxes. We took 4 of the boxes and placed them by the back door leading to the dumpster pad and shut the door. At about 10:50, Matt Burak shows up for his 11 o'clock shift, and Jen asks him to break down the boxes that are out back when he punches on. Matt punches on and heads out to break down the boxes. We hear him breaking them down from the front of the store, followed by the beep when the back door opens, and then came the best part. The scream from Burak when he saw the rest of the boxes we had piled up. It was hilarious. It probably took him 30 minutes to get them all broken down.

Driving Blind

This story takes place a few years ago, on a Saturday morning. I'm working in the front with Kayla. A car comes through drive-thru and while I'm bagging the order Kayla walks up and this is our conversation.

Kayla: "Hey, I think the guy at drive-thru is blind."
Kyle: "Why?"
Kayla: "He's wearing dark sunglasses and there is a dog in his car."
Kyle: "Oh."
Kayla: "Yea."
Kyle: "Is he driving the car?"
Kayla: "Nevermind."
Kyle: "What?"
Kayla: "....."
Kyle: "Well?"
Kayla: "Yes, he's driving the car."
Kyle: "Oh, it must be one of those new seeing eye cars I've been hearing about."
Kayla: "Shut up."

And there you go.

Snowball Throwing Contest

This story takes place in the middle of the winter. Dan, Jim, Riley and myself are in the dumpster pad hanging out because it is pretty much dead with the blizzard that is going on outside. We decide that the best course of action is to have a snowball throwing contest across the parking lot. Riley decides not to participate, but instead to judge, so he goes out into the parking lot to wait. Dan throws first and his snowball clears the parking lot and lands somewhere in the field behind Dunkin Donuts. I throw next, and my snowball also clears the parking lot and ends up in the field. Now its Jim's turn. He takes his snowball and gets a running Happy Gilmore style start before his throw, and then throws his snowball about a foot out in front of him. It doesn't even get out of the dumpster pad. After Dan and I laugh hysterically, we allow Jim a mulligan so he can throw again. He gets the same running start and instead of throwing his snowball up and out, he throws it straight ahead, and just over the roof of a car that had pulled in front of the dumpster pad on its way to the drive-thru. If he had thrown the snowball about 3 inches lower he would have nailed this woman's car right in the drivers side window. It was hilarious, especially since he only threw the snowball about 10 feet. Since Riley couldn't find exactly where Dan's or my snowball landed, it was declared a 2 way tie for first, with Jim being the loser.

Mozz Stix

Let's start out with a simple, short story. A few years ago, on a summer day, BK was down to its last bag of frozen mozzarella sticks. So as the day progresses, the amount of mozzarella sticks, began to dwindle, until there was just one stick left. Because its relevant to the story, Jim's favorite food at BK at this time was the mozzarella sticks, so you can image how upset he was that they were being discontinued. Back to the point. So there is only one left and of course Jim wants it for himself, so he takes it and puts it in him mouth to eat it. But I'm not going to allow that, so with a gloved left hand, I lash out and grab his face by his cheeks, which forces his mouth open, and I reach in with my right hand, also wearing a glove, and pull out the mozzarella stick and proceed to throw it in the trash, crushing Jim for the remainder of the day, and possible his life, I'm not sure that he has ever fully recovered from that day.

My stories

This blog is a record of the happenings of the Easton BK. All events are TRUE. Although some might not have happened on the premises of BK, they did involve current or former employees.
If you have a problem with any story that you are involved in, or feel that it is inaccurate in anyway, feel free to inform me of the mistake so I can personally tell you were you can shove the complaint. If you would like to have your name changed to protect yourself, that I will do, I'm not a complete asshole. If you have a story you want added, talk to me and I'll probably add it. Ending this, its for fun, if you have a problem or are upset, get over it, if its in this blog, it already happened and you need to get over it. Thank you and goodnight.